Ask Axel
by an-angel-in-hell
Summary: Roxas and Xion see something odd, and ask Axel to explain it for them. AkuRoku implied. Set during 358/2 Days, but no significant spoilers.


Ask Axel

Summary: Roxas and Xion see something odd, and ask Axel to explain it for them. AkuRoku implied. Set during _358/2 Days, _but no significant spoilers.

Disclaimer: Dear Disney/Square Enix: You can keep your Xion and your Xemnas and your Saix; I don't really want them. I just want your Axel and your Roxas so that I can make them have sex, mmkay? 'Till you get back to me on that, though, I guess I have to say that NONE OF THIS IS MINE. 3, Me.

A/N: I am SOOO going to hell for this one… I was watching the cutscene from _Days_ where Xion asks Roxas if they can be friends, and Roxas is all, "Oh, we'll ask Axel," and I thought, _Jeez, do they just ask Axel about everything?_ And… I have a dirty mind, so…

I know I made Xion really clueless in comparison to Roxas, which probably doesn't make sense since they've existed for about the same amount of time. She just seems more innocent, somehow.

-

Axel, Roxas, and Xion sat atop the clocktower, enjoying their ice cream after having completed their respective missions.

Xion gave Roxas a shove. "Ask him."

"Why can't you?" the blond objected.

"It was your idea," Xion insisted.

Roxas flushed. "Um, Axel?" he put forth hesitantly.

Axel raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"We, um… walked in on Xemnas and Saix yesterday."

"Uh-huh…" Axel raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to go on.

Roxas turned a brighter shade of red. "They were _doing something."_

Axel tried to suppress a grin. "Whaddaya mean?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

"They were naked," Xion said. She didn't seem to be at all embarrassed by this discussion. "And, sort of… _grinding_ against each other. We wondered if you knew what they were doing."

A snicker escaped Axel's lips. "Uh, they were… having sex."

Roxas groaned. "Ugh, I was afraid of that. I didn't even know two guys _could_… y'know…"

Axel grinned widely. "Why, sure they can, Roxas," he said, eyes glinting deviously.

"What's having sex?" Xion asked curiously.

Axel lost it, beginning to howl with laughter. "You wanna take this one, Roxas?" he gasped.

Roxas' face was bright red at this point. "It's, um… how you make babies."

"Babies? What are those?"

"Um…" Roxas gave Axel a helpless look.

"Us Nobodies just kinda spring into existence fully formed, but people with hearts aren't like that," the redhead explained, coming to Roxas' aid. "When they're first born, they're tiny and helpless. They have to grow for years before they look like we do."

"Oh," Xion said. "So, _real_ people are babies when they're born?"

"Right," Roxas said.

"And… people have sex to make babies?"

"Um… that's one reason for it," Roxas said.

Xion nodded thoughtfully. "So, Xemnas and Saix were trying to make a baby?"

Axel burst out laughing again. "Ohmygod, can you _imagine_ a baby Mansex running around?"

"No," Roxas told Xion, ignoring their friend's outburst. "Only a guy and a girl can make a baby."

"Then what were Saix and the Superior doing?" Xion asked curiously.

"We call him Mansex for a reason," Axel giggled.

"Usually, people have sex because it feels good," Roxas told her.

Xion frowned. "It does?"

"So they say," Roxas said, shrugging.

Xion nodded, still a little confused. She drifted off into thought, failing notice the conniving look Axel was directing at Roxas.

"Well, I'm kinda tired out from my mission today," she said finally. "I'm gonna RTC. You guys coming?"

"You go ahead, Xion," Axel said, not taking his eyes off of Roxas. "I wanna talk to Roxas alone for a sec."

-

The next day, Roxas and Xion were sent to Beast's Castle together.

"I still can't believe we actually saw Saix and the Superior doing that," Xion remarked as they exited the dark corridor in the castle's entrance hall.

"Yeah, well, we're just lucky they didn't see _us,"_ Roxas replied. "I don't think we'd be here anymore if they had."

"Why not?"

"I think they'd be embarrassed."

Xion cocked her head thoughtfully. "You mean they wouldn't want us to know they were doing it?"

"Probably not, no," Roxas answered. "Now c'mon- the sooner we take care of these Heartless, the sooner we can get out of here." He headed for the stairs.

"Roxas, are you okay?" Xion cried.

"Huh?" Roxas frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"You're walking funny," she said, looking him over as if to find the source of the problem written on his coat. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"Oh! Um… yeah," Roxas said slowly. "Axel and I were, uh, exercising last night, and I'm a bit sore. He said it'd probably go away by tomorrow."

h "Oh, okay," Xion said. "Was that what he wanted to talk to you about?"

"Um," Roxas said, voice slightly strained. "Yeah."

Xion looked at him, cocking her head again. "Why's your face all red?"

"Just… nevermind," Roxas muttered. "Come on."

Xion followed him up the stairs, deciding that he'd probably told her all he was going to. Maybe she'd ask Axel about this later…

-

Yeah, I'm definitely going to hell. Then again, if God does exist I'm most likely going there anyway… 8D


End file.
